On Rising Above

Tonight, it is time to reflect on the events of the past month, to look at where I have been, and where I am headed.

As I write this, I am in the last stage of the first year of law school. In two weeks, I will be taking my exams in Property, Constitutional Law, and Legislation, and I will be competing for a spot on one of the law journals for next year. After that, I will have a few weeks off before I head out to Arizona for the first stage of the Blackstone Fellowship, and then beyond that, a fall semester packed with everything except time to rest. The rest of 2006 is going to be extremely busy, and will probably go by fast.

On the surface, this should be one of the best times of my life-I am getting to live out the plans I had made for myself. But recently, especially in the last month or so, I have let myself become consumed with the stress I am under. This has been brought on by a combination of things: a lack of enough sleep, not making it to exercise on a regular basis, but most importantly, I have lacked a regular prayer and devotion time. My communication with Headquarters has, for the most part, been severed by the Enemy's distractions.

Ultimately there is only one way out-finding a way to rise above the situation by growing and meeting my spiritual and student-related challenges.

About a month ago, I wrote about how my problem is that I am focused too much on living to please other people, instead of pleasing God. But what I still need to figure out is what it means to live a life that is pleasing to God. Right now, I think the best way to do this is to rise above the situation by handling adversity. This doesn't mean not making mistakes. But it does mean not curling up in the fetal position and whimpering about how things used to be in high school, when life was simpler and the sun was shining. It means to get tough-to be a good man, not merely a nice guy.

Law school, for me, goes far beyond getting an education. It is a time when I am being put on trial, being tested by the Lord to see what kind of man I am to become. My job is to let it be a crucible, not an incinerator.

Last night, I watched "The Ten Commandments" (the original version, with Charlton Heston), and I am reminded of his journey through the desert. At this point, Moses could not be in a worse situation. He was the prince of Egypt, yet he had lost everything, been stripped of his title, given a day's worth of bread and water, and left to crawl through the desert. Yet as the narrator explains, this was his great time of trial, where he was formed and sharpened for God's great work that lay ahead. It made me think of where I am right now-not that my experience is as difficult as his, but the struggles I face are God's way of preparing me for His purpose in a grand design I cannot see, a part I will play beyond the horizon.

Here's what I am going to start doing to rise to the challenges I face:

1) Restore my communion with God. My goals for this year included praying twice a day, and having a devotion and Bible reading at least daily. There is still plenty of time to get back on track with this, and make it happen. My prayer times lately have been short and ineffective, a "help me in this interview, Lord" or "bless John/Mary, Lord". My time with God has to go beyond this to be effective.

2) Get more sleep. Since I have a huge workload in between now and finals, the temptation is to stay up late and work until I am just short of falling asleep at my desk. This does no good for me or for getting me to the prize.

3) Exercise. Not only to lose weight, but to concentrate better, study more effectively, sleep better, and in general have a better quality of life. When I am at my best, I am at my best for God.

4) Trust God more. My tendency is to wring my hands over every future, hypothetical situation that might pose a threat to the regime I have constructed around myself. Will I find a job after I graduate? Will I get married? Will I have enough money to pay my bills? This is a spiritual shortcoming on my part, that has to be confronted through prayer, faith, and facing the facts.

Finally, the most important thing to remember is that I will get through this. The flames of the fire I face burn hot, but when I emerge from the chaos in my schedule and the turmoil of spiritual and emotional growth, I will be a more effective Christian than in the past. Through the strength of the Holy Spirit, I will be a more powerful person than ever before.

I will be more confident. I will have a deeper and more abiding faith not only in my salvation, but my earthly deliverance from sin and fear. I will have not only the knowledge from being an attorney, but the armor of God equipped for the great adventure that is yet to come.