More on the CLS Conference

I just realized, after I published the last post, that I have hit the big 5-0. Not 50 years old, but "Thoughts From Texas" was the 50th post on Standing in the Gap. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to express my thoughts through this venue, and for anyone who stops by to read what I have to say-thanks for your support.

So now that I have had almost a week to cogitate over my experiences at the conference, here are two things that have come to mind:

1) Probably the biggest realization I have had this week is that I allow other people too much sway over my thoughts, feelings, and generally, how I live my life. I have prayed about this problem before, and recognized it as such during my first year of law school, but it is only in the last few months that I have begun to combat it effectively. Right now, I am reading a book by Edward Welch, entitled "When People Are Big and God Is Small," that discusses this in more detail. But in my situation, the problem is twofold: a) minimizing the power of the Holy Spirit and God's Providence in my life, and b) putting these Godlike expectations on other people, whether or not they are willing to try to meet them.

Admittedly, this gets back to a theme that runs through most of my posts. Law school is an enormous challenge, both physically, in the number of hours spent studying and preparing for class, and spiritually, in that I must do my best to represent Christ to my peers and to others I encounter while I am in Columbus. But there is an antidote to the poison I face from other people, from the weight of the work, from the feelings of isolation that often surface. It is a message I need to meditate on from the time I wake up in the morning, as I sit in class, as I eat my dinner, as I drive to the store, and until I lay my head on the pillow at night.

God is good, and God is strong.

What makes law school so difficult lately is that I don't think about that enough, and it doesn't have the impact on me that it should. I found a site online that talks about the various names of God mentioned in the Bible, and the etymology of the Lord is amazing. So thinking about the names of God, which pertain to His qualities, I need to keep some of these in mind the next time I face trouble:

- My Eyaluth (strength) in the morning, when I go to class and need to remember what I have studied. This is why I said a quick prayer before Evidence on Tuesday, knowing that I would be called on and have to respond (Psa. 22:19).
- My Shaphat (judge) when I wrong someone during the course of my day, and I am convicted of my sin to apologize and repent on my knees (Gen. 18:25).
- My Jehovah-Nissi ("The Lord Our Banner") when I am called to engage the culture on the law school battlefield and defend my beliefs (Ex: 17:15; Psa. 4:6).
- My Jehovah-M'Kaddesh ("The Lord Who Sanctifies") when the Holy Spirit reaches into the dark corners of my heart to sanctify my life and lead me to increase in holiness in conformity with the call of Christ (Lev. 20:8).

Here is the site where I got these, if you want to check it out: http://www.ldolphin.org/Names.html

If God is for us, who can stand against us? One of my ongoing spiritual weaknesses is that while I love God, I minimize the extent of His power in my life. When I get bogged down in the busyness of a typical day, I forget who I work for. It is God I should be trying to please and emulate, not the people around me. So probably the best lesson or realization I had while in Texas is that I need to work on making God bigger and people smaller, and developing a healthier fear of, and respect for, Jehovah-Jireh.

What does this name mean in Hebrew? "The Lord Will Provide."

2) The other spiritual lesson I took away from the conference is that I need to work on developing the various spiritual disciplines to a greater extent. I have a decent prayer life, often taking the time to converse with God during the day, but to develop a regular devotional and worship time. The more regularity I have in my interactions with God, the less opportunity I will have to become discouraged and slip into common patterns of sin. At the conference, I purchased a book by R. Kent Hughes, entitled "Disciplines of a Godly Man," that should speak to this. I am going to read this book, then post later on specific ways I can help develop these disciplines in my life, around the law school schedule.