Reading: "When People Are Big and God Is Small"

Edward Welch's "When People Are Big and God Is Small" attempts to get at the root of a problem we all face at one time or another: what do we do when we encounter situations where we fear people more than God? This book caught my eye at the CLS conference, and I decided to read this one first-I am currently reading J. Kent Hughes' "Disciplines of a Godly Man," and hopefully will have a review for that soon.

The first part of Welch's book looks at different manifestations of the same problem-the fear of man. According to Welch, this takes on different names, such as "codependency" and "peer pleasure," but the result is the same-we order our lives around what other people think of us. To get at different aspects of the problem, Part I looks at the fear of being seen (the problems of sin-shame and victimization-shame), the fear of being rejected (where people become an idol that replaces the fear of God), the fear of being physically hurt (situations such as past physical abuse), and the idea that the world encourages the fear of man (through its emphasis on self-esteem and radical individualism). Part II runs through the solutions to this spiritual and emotional problem, such as growing in the fear of the Lord, knowing your real needs, and loving enemies and neighbors. Some thoughts on the book in general:

1) One of the passages that had the most impact on me is the section dealing with the difference between faith and feelings, on page 83. Welch points out that "[t]oo often, if our faith is weak, we don't see it as a serious problem. It is only when our feelings are distressing that we decide to ask others for help and prayer."

Reading this made me realize that perhaps sometimes, we stop too soon in seeking out God. Perhaps we are satisfied only with feeling faithful, instead of actually being faithful. I know that many times, it is easy to get discouraged when I pray and seek out God, only to be missing that "feeling" I get when I experience the presence of the Holy Spirit. I'm not sure how many other believers struggle with this same issue, but it gets to the heart of what Welch is saying-we are using the wrong barometer, the wrong scale, to measure God's presence in our lives. Even though we often experience a feeling of His presence and calm during times of prayer, it is important not to commit the Pavlovian error of salivating for food based on the ringing bell.

The deeper spiritual issue behind confusing faith and feelings is that it really boils down to trusting ourselves, not the promises of the Word, for when God is moving in our lives. The Scriptural principle of "ask and ye shall receive" from John 16:24 has been boiled down to "ask and you have received if you feel like it." Our feelings, like our thoughts, are inevitably tainted by our own sinful nature, and thus cannot be reliable in comparison to Scripture. When we base our perceived spiritual well-being upon them, we do so at our own peril.

2) Of the solutions the author discusses to overcome the codependency problem, I was most struck by his call to "delight in the God who fills us." Of all of the stories in Scripture the author could have chosen to illustrate this point, to show the lengths to which God will go to pursue us in His great love, the story of Hosea stands out as one of the best. God commanded Hosea to marry Gomer, an adulteress. Before and during the marriage, she continued her adulterous ways, eventually leaving the marriage to continue her life of prostitution. But Hosea continued to provide her with provisions, never giving up on his commitment to his bride. Eventually, after a nightmarish life of adultery and abuse, Gomer was sold into slavery. But Hosea remained faithful, purchasing her out of slavery and reaffirming the marriage covenant. It is an amazing story reflecting the love God has for us-how He was willing to purchase us from the dead, even at the cost of his Son, because of His love for us.

What stood out to me here is the simple reminder that God is the only One who can fill our need for love and acceptance. Like Gomer, we will stray, and try and find it in a hundred other places, but eventually we will be in bondage to our wayward passions. Yet God is always there, waiting to buy our freedom from what enslaves us, whether it's a physical addiction or a mental pattern of sin in trying too hard to please other people. It was a real encouragement to read the story of Hosea, and be reminded of the sufficiency of God's love and grace.

Overall...I would recommend this book as a practical guide if you are struggling with any issues of being too dependent on others for love, acceptance, and support. It was easy to read because it ran through a list of specific solutions, depending on the form of the problem you are facing. This is especially relevant for us Christians who are in law school, because of the minefield we face in trying to get ahead without trying too hard to please others at God's expense.