Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Reading List

Now that I have attended Phase I of the Blackstone, I plan to greatly increase my extracurricular reading, either for learning or entertainment. Right now, I am reading David Barton's "Original Intent: The Courts, the Constitution, & Religion," about the Founding Fathers and their attitudes on the role of Christianity and religious principles as applied to the First Amendment and civic government. I am about 60% of the way through it, and will have a post about it soon.

Also, any new posts about "Reading" will just have the name of the book, instead of "part 3," "part 4," and so on. This is so I can balance my learning between history, law, Christian apologetics, fiction, and other related fields.

It is difficult to keep up with all of the books I want to read, particularly those that were recommended to us during Phase I. It seemed as though after every speaker gave his or her presentation, I had about 3 or 4 new books to add to the list. But even if it takes the rest of law school, I plan to read them all. For now, though, here are some of the books I plan to make a priority to read before the end of the year:

Blackstone's "Commentaries."

"Christianity and the American Commonwealth" by Charles Galloway.

"Christianity and Culture" by J. Gresham Machen.

"Rhetoric" by Aristotle.

"Prince Caspian" and any other entries in the "Narnia" series, by C.S. Lewis.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Summer of 2006, pt. 4

As I write tonight, my soul is at rest in the midst of a storm.

I am sitting by the pool in Phoenix. It is 10:00 at night here, and about 95 degrees and humid. It's not the heat that surprises me, it's the humidity. This is about the driest place on earth this side of the Sahara.

But regardless of the weather, I feel as though I have finally reached the intersection of my faith in the Lord and my decision to become a lawyer. I have been at Phase I of the Blackstone Fellowship for about a week now, and I have realized simply that this is where I was always meant to be-surrounded by fellowship with fellow Christians who care about God, who want to serve God, and who realize how much all of us, believers or not, are loved by God.

Take today. We had a church service this morning in the meeting room of the hotel. A pastor from the Alliance Defense Fund came in to speak, and two of the interns stepped up and did the music. It was so pure, such an expression of our love for God and God's enduring love for us. One intern played the piano, and one led the singing. We stumbled on the words, and probably the only song we did perfectly was "Amazing Grace." But my heart was in it, and I realized what it means when two or three are gathered in His name.

At the end, we sang a simple song-"Jesus Loves Me." It drove directly to the heart of the Gospel-regardless of our sins, regardless of what I got this semester in Constitutional Law or Property or Legislation, God will love me the same. Just realizing the enormity of what this means could take a lifetime. If you realize this truth, why worry about anything else?

This message could not have been more timely. After God had been working on my heart all week, helping me crack the exterior of selfishness, pride, and what I thought was self-sufficiency, Satan counter-attacked yesterday, blasting me to feel "concern" over my academic report from this past semester. "You can't control things anymore, Brian," he hissed at me. "If you come back with even one bad grade, in a 4-credit class like Property, it will shut the door on your success." Anxiety gripped my heart like a hand around my throat.

But I will have faith, and with God's help will fight off the Enemy's deception.

I cannot do a single thing to either affect my first-year grades, or to get onto a law journal next year. I will work with what I have, and do the best I can with the time and resources available to me.

But do you know what? It's not about me anymore.

It's not about landing the "right" job in some far-off metropolis where I drag in a big, fat paycheck to come home to some empty apartment and see my family twice a year. It's not about spending all these tears and treasure in school so that I make myself into a mercenary to build my own kingdom. So let the grades fall where they may. Because I have realized a simple but earth-shattering truth this week: God is not limited by my grades or achievements. He is only limited by my faith. And if God wants to open a door for me, no power of this world, or of Hell, can keep it closed. I do not say this out of arrogance, just a simple realization and acceptance that He is in control of my life-not myself.

Another example of my soul being at rest is tonight. I am writing this at a table on a patio overlooking the pool. Fellow believers are singing songs of praise in the background as we enjoy each other's company. Tonight I recognize and worship my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for bringing me to this place. He is the One who made this opportunity possible, that got me safely here, by airplane, van, and car, and is watching over the steps of my very existence. Why be afraid anymore? All I need is to stay this connected forever.

My soul is at rest just realizing the impact the last seven days have had upon me. It is mind-boggling. I realize that I can never return to the way things were before, even if I wanted them to. I was a prideful, self-righteous young man who was scared of having to keep up with his own expectations, and the myth of his own self-sufficiency. But I have realized I do not have to live that way anymore.

Most of my spiritual life, beginning not long after I accepted Christ, has been a game of trying to "escape" the life and the personal ministry to which I have been called, all out of laziness, shame, or another selfish motive. Instead of reading my Bible, I would eat another sandwich; instead of thinking about the calling He had placed upon my heart, I would immerse myself in Halo to the point of zombification.

Lord, let me hold tight to You forever. No more games. I will always run the race, but let me conquer my sinful hesitance to pursue Your Truth. I have just begun to do that; it took coming to the desert to get me to stop wandering in the desert. In this, in You, I will find my rest.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Summer of 2006, pt. 3

As I write this, I am in Phoenix, Arizona for the Blackstone Fellowship. I got in on Sunday, flying from Cleveland, and getting to the hotel around noon. Some dispatches about the experience so far:

1) In a nutshell, it has been fantastic, and everything that I had hoped it would be. Each day, we have about 2-3 speakers on various topics, usually one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Today, we had a professor come in and speak on America's Christian history, and the beliefs the Founding Fathers had about the Constitution, religion, and all the issues we deal with today. It was incredibly insightful-I learned things today that had not been revealed in 17 years of school, and I minored in history in college.

2) Phoenix is hot. Right now, it is about 9:10 P.M. here, and it is still probably over 90 degrees outside. The humidity is extremely low, less than 10% usually, so it is hot and dry. I guess I'm just not used to it yet, since I've only been here since Sunday. There is a shopping center across the street from the hotel, and even walking a block or so gives you some exercise and makes you sweaty from the heat. Tomorrow, the high is expected to be 113, and sunny.

3) It is truly amazing how God has brought all of us together for this internship. So far, I have only met 2-3 people from Ohio; we are from all over the country here. My roommate is from Maine, and my smaller group (we are divided into teams of about 10 interns each) has people from Hawaii, Georgia, Iowa, and other places. It is really a testament to God that He made this happen, and He made us get here safe so we could participate in what we are doing here.

4) I have not felt closer to God since high school in the time I have been here. It is a challenge at night to set aside a time for prayer and Bible study, since I am usually exhausted by 10:00 or so (we have to get up at 5:30 AM), but I try to at least read the Bible a little bit each night. Last night, I started on Acts, and then I will read Romans.

That's all I have for now. I will try and post some more as time (and Internet access) allows.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Summer of 2006, pt. 2

Keeping each one short:

- I have really enjoyed the last two weeks or so. The only time when things have gotten dull was when I wasn't home; I drove down to the apartment over the weekend to go to dinner with some friends and have a meeting for CLS.

So far during this break, we have done a lot; went to the Cleveland Zoo (my favorite animal is the lion), went to the Aeros game (the Akron Aeros are the Indians' AA team, and we're going again Thursday), and have had plenty of time to go swimming at my brother's house. It has really been a fantastic break, and I am alternating my time between relaxing and studying for the Blackstone.

- It doesn't look like the Indians are going anywhere, unless they can get another winning streak going like they did last year. The offense is decent, but they need more than two pitchers (Sabathia and Wickman) to step up and carry the load. Plus, the Central Division just keeps getting tougher, since now Detroit seems like a legitimate contender. If they don't start winning soon, it will all be over by the All-Star Break, winning streak or not.

- Despite what my friend Aaron (the Steelers fan) says, I have high hopes for the Browns this year. I think Savage, the GM, seems to know what he's doing, by bringing together what looks like the beginning of a solid offensive line. Ultimately, it all comes down to Charlie Frye. If he has a breakout year, and he has a chance to with Winslow and Braylon Edwards back, you just might see the Browns in the playoffs.

- I was disappointed that the Cavs couldn't knock off Detroit in the playoffs, but they'll be back next year. If they can sign LeBron James long term, I think he will lead them to a championship, assuming they keep a solid team around him. Here are my predictions: LeBron will sign another five-year deal to stay in Cleveland, the Cavs will trade Z, possibly for an elite point guard and scorer (I heard Allen Iverson, but that's unlikely), and the Cavs will win 50-55 games next year. I'm not going to make a prediction on the playoffs, though-anything can happen.

- I am going to have some pictures on here when I post while in Phoenix, so stay tuned for more posts.